The Journey

To sum up 25 years of work with children is not easy, if not impossible. There are many questions and no ready answers.

How do I express what I felt the first time I got an orphaned child a home he could call his own? Or when an adoptee came up to me to thank me for finding her a family? How do I explain what I went through each time we were handed a child to look after? When the child had health problems, sometimes as grave as mental retardation or cerebral palsy? How do I speak about the trials and tribulations of running an organization of this nature? Or about the endless meetings with adoptive parents and their new found emotions?

How do I explain how I felt when I adopted a child myself?

The list is endless. In the following paragraphs, I will try and chart out my journey as briefly as I can. This journey that began with a dream and is a reality I live each day, 25 years hence with the same fervour even today.

My story began in the early seventies, when as a young woman I decided I wanted to work for children. I had graduated from Nirmala Niketan with a Masters Degree in Social Work and started working with Family Service Centre (FSC) affiliated to Nirmala Niketan.

As a counsellor with FSC, I came across babies, born out of wedlock who due to social reasons could not be raised by their birth mothers, hence relinquished for a better future than being unwanted. Adoption is that better future. Yet before the adoption could happen, the child needed care and shelter. From that point on, I began the search for foster placements to care for them until adoptive parents were found.

Two persons stand out in my memory

1. Mrs. Jenny Talwalkar whose husband Dr. Vasant Talwalkar, a PaediatricSurgeon who was to become a Trusteeof WorldChildren Welfare Trust India.
2. Mrs. Els Bayards (formerly Mrs. Wunnink) a Dutch Lady who livedin Mumbai with her family at that timein 1975.

A chance meeting with her was to change my life. I joined her as a Social worker and she had the charge in India of the Dutch Child Welfare Organisation called Netherlands Inter-country Child Welfare Organisation (NICWO), now known as Wereldkinderen. Els, with her enthusiasm, boundless energy and love for children which I shared with her inspired me. Together, Els and I visited several institutions in Maharashtra where we saw innumerable number of children growing up as orphans. We felt it was definitely necessary to try to find them families who had place for them in their homes and hearts. It was important that they (families) adopt these children giving them a home, an identity and a sense of belonging.

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Within 2 years of having joined Els she left, as her family moved. But I carried on the beautiful work of finding families for infants and children with waiting couples in Holland.

In a few years, another friend, Ms Sushila Shivtarkar, then Joint Director of Women and Child Welfare with the Government of Maharashtra, suggested I should set up my own agency. I was not sure nor willing to take on this responsibility. But soon enough, I discovered that after placing a child in adoption, the adoption was by no means over. In fact, it was only the beginning, for many questions started coming from the adoptive parents and as time went by from the adoptees themselves. Questions about their background whether medical or social facts. It was clear that it was my duty to help them. But I felt helpless. I had no ready answers. The realization came that a Children's Home could play a vital role in helping adoptive parents and adoptees through counselling services post adoption.

Besides Indian couples started approaching me to help them adopt a child.

Thus a dream was born to set up Bal Anand to receive, shelter and rehabilitate the orphaned, abandoned and relinquished children by way of In-country and Inter-country adoption; and in time to receive the adoptees in the home where they could return-to in quest of their origins.

Every long journey begins with a single step and mine was to set up a Trust. In this I was assisted by two valued Trustees

1. Ms. Elizabeth Dusija (who continues to be a Trustee) and
2. Late Mr. B.S. Samat, (his support cannot be forgotten to this day)

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WorldChildren Welfare Trust India (WWTI) was registered and Bal Anand set up in February 1984.

Two more persons stand out in the creation of Bal Anand:

1. Ms. Sushila Shivtarkar, who in 1984 after retirement, actively assisted with Licensing issues, administration and day-to-day functioning. After retirement she became a Trustee for a brief period. Now she is 84 years old and she remembers the creation of Bal Anand with pride and nostalgia.
2. Mr. Piet Van Der Werf, from the Netherlands, who supported me in his capacity as a then Board Member of Wereldkinderen. His advice and the financial support have been invaluable in Bal Anand's journey to move forward.

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Two more names of Trustees come to mind during the early years –

Ms. Celina Lobo, a Social Worker by profession, whose professional assistance in getting started cannot be forgotten and Late Dr. (Ms.) Kamal Khare, who rendered much needed timely medical services to our children. She was truly dedicated to them.

Bal Anand WWTI as an NGO began in 2 rooms that the Trust rented in Sindhi Society, Chembur and with a license to keep 8 children. But no sooner than we started, space proved insufficient; more children than could be accommodated were being referred and the work itself was growing. So we started looking for larger premises preferably owned but it was not easy. It was taking time. So till it could happen we rented a bigger place in Govandi and search continued for own premises. We found an independent yet totally dilapidated structure Ground + one floor in Ghatla Village, Chembur. The only one that was affordable. We bought this property in May 1985, and called it 'Sai Krupa' which means by the Grace of God. The building was renovated and redesigned by a professional - late Mr. Mohammed Goriawala. His services came totally free. We are grateful to him.

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In February 1986, we moved our children in. Finally the children had a home they could call their own. With more accommodation, sanction strength to keep children went up from 8 to 20. Yet this was not the end, the building that was ground plus one floor was extended between 1997-2000, (to accommodate the growing number of children) to an impressive 5 storeyed structure. Since inception the number of children received and sheltered at Bal Anand is about 1500 children. Today in 24x7 care are 90 destitute children 0 – 18 years old who are either awaiting adoption (being relinquished or declared free for adoption by Child Welfare Committee) ; or in temporary care to be eventually restored to their families and the differently abled children in long term care. They all live in a homely environment with medical facilities, they attend schools, have recreational possibilities and more. They are taken care of by caretakers, nurses, assisted by the Hon. paediatrician, therapists, teachers and volunteers. We strive to keep the children healthy and happy to live up to the name 'Bal Anand' –'happiness of children'. Adoption is our main programme whereby children without a family can get a permanent home for their lifelong future same as biological children do. However, it is not as simple as it sounds. Adoption is a complex process involving many areas of work skillfully

handled by professionally qualified & experienced Social Workers at Bal Anand. The areas of work include:- Enquiries about Adoption & its process Registration along with documents. Preparation of Home-study Report. Introducing them to their child to be. Legal procedures. To put the adopted child on par with the biological child . Taking the child home and bonding with the child. Post adoption follow up and counselling assistance which includes sharing the fact of Adoption with their child and roots. It is our endeavour to promote adoption of our children with Indian families that are directly registered with Bal Anand. If there is no suitable family for a waiting child or no child for a waiting family, take the assistance of the Adoption Coordinating Agency (ACA) which networks with all Adoption Agencies to promote Indian Adoption. If it does not happen in the stipulated time of two months, ACA gives clearance for Inter-country Adoption. In which case, we have to work with a foreign adoption agency enlisted by Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA) under the Ministry of Women & Child Development. The foreign adoption agency refers a suitable family for the ACA cleared child. In case of inter-country adoption, (CARA) has to give a No Objection Certificate (NOC). After getting the NOC, obtain Court's Order permitting the foreigner to take the child away to his country after obtaining Passport & Visa. It is mandatory as stipulated in the Court's Order whether In-country/Inter-country Adoption to have post placement follow-up and supervision to ensure the smooth adjustment of the child in his/her new environment namely the adoptive parents. Adoption awareness & publicity programmes are conducted throughout the year and also meetings with pre & post adoptive parents, in the ongoing cause of Adoption. Bal Anand has been on the Executive Committee of ACA for 3 terms of 3 years each since the inception of ACA in 1995; has participated in Conferences at both State & National level and also in the International Conferences held by CARA & others. Step by step Bal Anand has progressed with many achievements to it's credit. Adding two branches Bal Ashraya and Bal Uday in Nagpur and Bhandara respectively, for promoting Indian Adoption. They are run professionally and are almost independent. Noteworthy is the fact that since ten years now we serve as a field work placement agency, for the practical learning for post graduate Social Work students of Tata Institute of Social Sciences and more recently other academic disciplines are also referred for awareness of the role of an NGO serving in the social sector field. We have also had students/ volunteers from abroad as well. Besides, for five years we also had a research team from the University of Leiden in the Netherlands to study attachment and sensitivity in childrens' homes for secure attachment is important for childrens' emotional, social and cognitive development. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the course of this journey, I cannot miss out on mentioning adopting a child myself. I was the chosen one for Raju born on 13th October, 1986. He came to live with me when he was 2 years old. I have raised him with the help of Bal Anand and my family. Today at 22 he is a talented commercial artist called Siddharth Raju Kalro. A step that I took 20 years ago has enriched me manifold-emotionally as a parent, mentally and morally as a person. Adopting myself has enhanced my counselling skills with adoptive parents, strengthened my conviction about adoption and above all my commitment to the children of Bal Anand. Siddharth is aware of his origins, he is a part of the children's lives. He is their 'Raju bhaiyya', who meets them ever so often, especially on all the festivals, big, small which the children enjoy greatly. In 1999, I was appointed a member of the Juvenile Welfare Board (now termed Child Welfare Committee) for a term of 3 years and with 4 other colleagues-senior experienced professionals from different fields of Child Welfare, we intervened for the welfare of neglected children (now addressed as children in need of care and protection), which was a moving and a learning experience for me. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A core team of 4 member agencies was constituted, Bal Anand being one of them. FAA was officially registered in 2007 and already has achievements to its credit; prompting other agencies in Maharashtra to join. However adoption related work is not the only activity that Bal Anand is known for. Adoption despite being the best alternative for a child without a family, for all the children in care of Bal Anand, this has not been possible even though free for adoption. These are the 25 mentally challenged children some with physical disabilities as well, that have to be taken care of on a one to one basis and sensitive caretaking with the help of other professionals like therapists and special educators to make them independent in their day to day functioning ; indeed a challenge, yet each one a heart warming story and the pleasure we feel when even though delayed they take the first step, sit on their own or hold the spoon, the list is endless. In this - their journey to independent functioning, we are proud to say that Dr. Gunwant Oswal, practising Ayurvedic medicine to help those with developmental disabilities plays an important role. He regularly sees all our 25 children and has made a difference in them. His services are honorary so also the medicines. We are deeply indebted to him. They are also sent to special schools for learning and no stone is left unturned to discover their hidden talents and what is more, we have discovered that they can also be achievers. For instance, we have Payal an 18 year old girl today has always been encouraged in Drawing & Sports. She has made Bal Anand and her School- Sulabha School for the mentally retarded feel proud by winning many medals in these areas. Or there is Meera, 12 years old having autistic behaviour but when it comes to swimming there is no holding her back. And yet again, there is 18 year old Farukh who has run the Marathon every year contributing towards fund-raising for his school. These children can be at Bal Anand till 18 as it is a children's home. Thereafter where to? They are orphan and they are a family, attached to each other as siblings are. For them there is new hope in Umang – A home beyond a home for the orphaned youth of Bal Anand at Vanjarwadi, Karjat District where under care and supervision they can live all their lives as included members of society. We bought this property in Nov.2006, launched Project Umang on its Silver Jubilee in 22nd February 2009 – a new beginning. Enabling us to come this far with the special children, is the financial support received through the fundraising efforts of Mr. Bas Van Ham from the Netherlands, his association with Bal Anand, has been constant for 23 years almost since inception also the support of the Wereldkinderen, the Netherlands. The journey this far has been long and winding but I have lived a full life for it. If I had the choice, I won't have had it any other way. There have been countless number of people in these 25 years who have come forward to help by way of their time, funds, guidance, ideas, professional help that I am indebted to, each and every one of them. My journey would not have been as enriching nor fulfilling without them. In this little space, it is not possible to mention each and every name but I am certain in their hearts they know I am thinking about them. "Thank you all for being there By: Sulochana Kalro Trustee (Bal Anand)